nanowrimo 2k9

Thundarium screamed in triumphant agony as he pulled the flaming bomb arrow out of his torso. Without even thinking, thundarium threw it at a wayward war hog and it exploded in flames and bombs.

“Again” he screamed, kicking  a charred corpse away from him. The was burning with the incredibly angry shriek. It was actually his special power that he got from drinking a lot of bum poison. I am not even looking at the screen right now. Actually i switched that I think i can type like a motherfucker. thats how tough i feel trying to describe thundarium to you pitiful humans. There can always be room for another hero, and he was the exception. because he was an awesome hero, not because there was extra space. but there is extra space! that is what is totally fantastic about it all!. Thundarium walked down the platform of freshly dried bone, surrounded by electric fire, and breathing acid, his eyes burning with cold daggers plus ten.

Yep, that how this is gonna roll. He got to the bottom of the hill and saw an angry cheetoh-tiger, covered in demeaning styrofoam spraypaint. this one was desparate. our hero dug his heel into the ground and snorted electric flame like an angry electric bull, and with out breaking an eyelash charged the fuck out of the cheetoh-tiger and turned it into a bag of searing angry guts.

“Another job well done!” though thundarium effortlessly, while angrily picking up the pelt before tucking the still bleeding fur into the custom made trough around his boot.

He walked along the path of bones for what seemed like an eternity. Occasionally his talking shoes would vomit badgers which he would kill for fun. Other times he would find regualr badgers and beat the crap out of them, because heroes in this world beat the shit out of real or demon badgers, or really anything in front of them,

After a long sojourn of badger smashing, he came to a giant river of fire. He figured he would chill for a while by the beach. He pulled out his many badger skins and wrang the blood into the flaming river, watching the flames lap up the blood just until the end of the furs were singes, then he would wring out the perspiration and stretch the palts out with a crudely built drying rack. He took an errant piece of wood and build a few stones around it to make a firepit. There were still tame, friendly firebadgers which he quickly killed, skinned and left to dry on his makeshift rack over the fire lake. Also he kept the meat and made this insane badgerloaf out of badger meat and pebbles. It was well cooked if nothing else.

Thundarium was a serious fucking hero, so much of a hero he would pretty much kill the fuck out of most anything that didn’t properly haggle with him. Anyway this is not a particularly well written passage, but at least i moved past the baggage of trying to finish that unwritten chapter. I think im going to end this one, though.