nanowrimo 2k9

Fast forward a few years. Chuff was in a private jet, flying over the flyover country, doing lines of vitamin C off of the emergency exit pamphlet. Living, i think he called it. Dont be too surprised, it wasn’t his private jet, he was just closing some deal. A lot had happened since the halcyon days of bathing in a janitors closet, and to be fair, he didn’t know it was Vitamin C. He thought it was centrum.

There were better things he should have been doing, he should have been closing the deal, he should have been talking at his host and forcing him into a corner of mind intimidataion, or as Chuff liked to call it “The Chuffinor”.

He had risen quickly thorugh the ranks as a marketing asshole, and was practically climbing the side of corporations like a giant fucking monkey tearing each one down with parasitic marketing plans as he went, in fact he had pretty much just crawled into the private jet here. The client had been trying to avoid him, but even this executive was no match for Chuffs giant marketing foot once it had been put in the door. He carried a briefcase full of chili dogs and a hatred of hippies and was not willing to let anyone turn away from him until he had managed to waste as much time and money as it took to get a deal from them.

This particular chump Nelson Riley, an inauspicious name for someone that I wont be using much in the future. Nelson was the Senior VP of product development for ModeraCorp, a company that mostly produced joints for machines that produced screws. Really not that interesting, but he managed to keep the company in the black, and there were still enough factories in the world that needed to manufacture their own screws that he managed to have most of his flights chartered or willing to fly him out lavishly to close a deal. See Nelson had managed to corner a market on maintenance machinery when the rest of the industry was still pushing newer brands of more expensive hardware. He was the equivalent of a print cartridge injector. He could make things work the same as they always did without forcing people to upgrade and deal with the endless process and cost of planned obsolescence. He managed to make one generation of obsolenscence outlive the next five generations. Well not him specifically, but he did manage to come up with innovative new ways to package and sell these solutions to large manufacturing plants around the world.

Chuff saw the situation a bit differently, he was trying to sell the ultimate HR monitoring kit as a product that needed development, never mind that Nelson Riley was not the person who should even be making those decisions.

Nelson was a straight-laced tea-toaling type. He took vitamins, excersized regularly, managed to sleep on a tight-knit schedule, and really didn’t do anything besides his job, which mostly involved flying places, going to meetings and trying to excersize and sleep in the accomodations that he could expense. Generally these were pretty luxiurious. Since he had managed to drive the innovation behind the company, he didnt mind taking a few liberties with it.

None of this was acceptable to Chuff. He saw a lot of fat ripe for the cutting, why should some high ranking executive just sit on his laurels when he could be burning all his money closing more deals, and this was going to be one hell of a deal that he was a bout to close.

But how did he end up here again?